


The Paths We Wander

by Summerfall



Series: Of Serendipity and Stupidity [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Family Secrets, Gen, Pre-Iron Man 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:40:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24285226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summerfall/pseuds/Summerfall
Summary: ... Edwin loves making jokes, bad ones.“Why do you smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam!”Ana sighed fondly, “Edwin, please stop traumatising our child.”(OR: Sometimes you need to wander the paths and re-pave the roads. And sometimes, you acquire an annoying, snot-nosed genius as a little brother, and you make do with that too.)
Relationships: Ana Jarvis/Edwin Jarvis & Original Female Character, Edwin Jarvis & Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Tony Stark & Original Female Character(s)
Series: Of Serendipity and Stupidity [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1753135
Kudos: 9





	The Paths We Wander

**Author's Note:**

> "Those Who Matter" from Lucy's POV

Lucy was a mistake in every sense of the word - the product of a one-night fling between the infamous Howard Stark and a casual waitress with a pretty face. The next day found an empty bed, save the Stark Special Bracelet and a note that was more suited to a cliché romance novel than the promise it made out to be. Rosie tossed out the note but kept the bracelet. She’s got plans to travel after all and she’ll need all the money she can get.

These plans were derailed, however, by Lucy, who even as an infant must have known she was the cause of her mother’s unhappiness as she hardly cried or fussed but instead observed the world with an unnerving quietness.

Rosie did not believe herself capable of raising a child or have the means to do so. However, knowing firsthand what the system is like, she refused to willingly submit another child through it. She sent Stark a letter out of courtesy, knowing it will probably be thrown aside without being opened, but hoping nonetheless. And then she did what she has always done best, going at it alone. 

Just as predicted, Rosie was just another in a long line of women who claimed to have a Stark child, and with his new happy marriage to Maria Carbenello, any sordid history will be buried and forgotten.

So starts the next five resentful years of Rosie’s life as she worked the unforgiving system and lifestyle of a single mother. To be fair, she raised the child the best she could - fed her, cleaned her, kept her away from her extracurricular activities, ones she claims she will drop once she has enough funds. Lucy was already self-sufficient at four though, cleaning and cooking for herself and picking up after her mother. People came and went, often ignoring the child or casting a quizzical look her way before disappearing into the bedroom.

~*~

Maria Stark can be described in many ways - cool, aloft but always a source of stable support for her husband. She knew of his past indiscretions and in the face of Maria’s unwavering loyalty, the media ceased the constant questions that fuel the rumour mill. While charismatic, Howard is more bravado and fireworks; Maria, on the other hand, is the diplomat with a keen eye on reading people. She’s no stranger to sorting fact from fiction, having been through the socialite scene herself.

So when a gaunt woman with haunted eyes approached her on the streets, slim frame slipping through security like a waif, she managed to press an envelope into her hands, voice harsh and broken as she whispered, “Please help her.” She was gone before Maria could ask any questions.

The envelope contained a piece of paper with a name, address and the unforgiving words - Howard Stark’s daughter. The infamous Stark Bracelet sealed the deal.

~*~

Death found Rosie in the arms of her child, who did not understand why her mother was cold and unresponsive. The coughs which had plagued the room for months have dissolved with a final breath into a heavy silence. Lucy had covered her in a thin moth-eaten blanket and stretched her arms over her in an attempt to warm her up.

It was this sight which greeted Maria two days later after she had debated the merit in indulging in the woman’s plea. She recoiled at the stench of rotting food and waste and of course, there was the body in the room. Maria stepped back outside to regain her bearings, her gag reflex threatening to take hold. But no, women in her position do not throw up in public. Placing a handkerchief over her nose and mouth, she stepped back in to tend to the still breathing child. Against her better judgement, she shrugged out of her coat to lay over the shivering girl, who blinked blearily back at her and mumbled something. Maria crouched down with as much dignity as one can in such an environment.

“...not eating it. She’ll get hungry.”

Maria would be a liar if that didn’t break her heart a little bit. It would be so easy to hate the child before her and be justified in it but she was before Maria’s time and the mistake was not the girl’s fault. So Maria made sure the child was cared for when the emergency services arrived, then went home for a hot bath, a confrontation with Howard and a stiff drink or three.

~*~

It was no secret that Edwin and Ana Jarvis had always wanted a child of their own. In their younger days, they thought they had all the time in the world until they didn’t; until the bullet that tore through Ana took away their chance of creating a family, replacing it with grief over something that will never come to be.

“We still have each other,” Ana reassured her husband over and over again whenever she sees the guilt in his eyes during the quiet moments when his hands tighten slightly over hers. And it was true - their love (as cliché as it is) held them together and preceded them through the years.

Edwin found solace in Howard Stark’s son, Tony, the intelligent, precocious and stubborn boy who he regards with much fondness. Ana, on the other hand, fell in love with the equine variety on Maria Stark’s family ranch where she eventually moved to when city life got too much, enjoying the quiet hums in the morning before the sky turns purple, and the dusting of stars before she turns in for bed. Edwin had wrinkled his nose at the smell and dirt; he even swore the horses eyed him funny… but the tea did taste better with the fresh air, so he relented.

To say they were taken aback when the Starks approached them about adoption was an understatement, even more so when Maria explained the circumstances behind it and the paramount need to keep it discreet. Howard had kept oddly quiet during the conversation, staring instead into his scotch as if he wished to drown in it. There was no judgement in Maria’s tone, calm and grounded as she is. She emphasised there was no pressure, just an offer they can refuse. No mention of the sensitivity of the topic or the trust of one of their oldest friends needed to be said, it was a given, and by the same token, nothing would change despite the decision.

It was not easy bringing a small human being into their home. Lucy was by no means a handful, in fact, she was the complete opposite of Tony who is a bundle of energy on the best of days. Lucy was quiet and guarded, watchful of her surroundings and cautious around people. Edwin knows how to deal with Tony - understands his temperament, reads his unspoken words loud and clear, there was always something to work with. It was awkward, to say the least, not knowing where you stand with a child, especially one intent on hiding herself away.

It wasn’t until Ana saw her peering around the stable door while she was brushing down the chestnut colt that she quickly asked, “Would you like to help?”

At her hesitant nod, Ana showed her the basics of bringing down a horse before getting her a box to stand on to reach. “You know you can talk to us right? You don’t have to be scared.”

It was an innocent question in an attempt to bridge the gap with a child. There was a brief pause, “I’m not scared; I just didn’t know I could.”

Ana has read that every child communicated differently. She just didn’t realise somewhere along the line, a child has been taught to ask for permission to talk. It made her blood boil and her heart ache.

Edwin returned home that evening to a slightly burnt roast, a floor full of books and Lucy asking question after question about horses. The smile on Ana’s face as she gazed from the child to him warmed his chest.

~*~

Lucy learns quickly that Edwin loves making jokes, bad ones.

“Why do you smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam!”

Ana sighed fondly, “Edwin, please stop traumatising our child.”

~*~

And like riding a bicycle, the Jarvis’ and Lucy came into their own, stumbling through the terrain that has been mapped out beforehand and re-paving new roads. Not that Lucy understood any of that, just that she was around people who did not mind her presence, who did not scowl when she spoke, who actually welcomed her opinions.

Jarvis discovered Lucy’s love for solving puzzles when she asked for the cereal boxes to complete the word and number games. She soon graduated to the more difficult ones in the newspapers. The ones she struggles with would be waiting for him when he arrives home in the evening to solve them together. It was these quiet moments together that he looked forward to, so when he noticed the puzzles were becoming less problematic, he bought back a stack of advanced code-breaking books for them to work on together and eventually, created their own personalised codes.

Ana would teach her the working of the stable, how to look after the horses and muck out the stalls, bringing the horses in for the night. She was hesitant in teaching Lucy how to ride, her mind reaching for the worst-case scenario, but knew it would be worse if she didn’t. She didn’t regret it - being able to ride out across the fields and taking on some of the well-known trails became their fondest memories, especially when they would go camping and Edwin would cling to Ana from his perch behind her, claiming the beast would be the end of him. He would survive of course but if the mud flicked at him by the horse was any indication, they were none too pleased with him either. Lucy and Ana tried not to giggle too much at his expense.

Then there were the quiet nights, where the Jarvis’ were wrapped around one another on the porch swing, watching Lucy running barefoot in the grass, waving a glass jar frantically through the air in an endeavour to catch the eluding fireflies. Ana snuggled further into Edwin’s arms. A smile of content on her face as Lucy shrieked in excitement, jar glowing from afar. If all the pain and heartache led to this, then it was worth it.

~*~

Lucy has only ever heard stories about Tony from her father with exasperated fondness and it was obvious that he cared about him. She'd be lying if she didn’t feel a twinge of jealousy, but at least at the end of the day, Jarvis would come back home to her and Ana.

She met Tony during the summer holiday of ‘83. Howard and Maria had a conference to attend so Tony was dropped on their doorstep. Lucy wasn’t fooled, she can tell he was here on his own volition, to suss her out if his constant shadowing was any indication. She barely spoke to him despite his incessant need to ask questions, which only seem to egg him on more.

“He is being deliberately insufferable! Why is he even here?” she demanded of no one in particular.

It was her father who answered, head bowed over a book as he tried to crack their latest code. “Give him a chance. Talk to him.”

“I just want him gone,” Lucy huffed petulantly. She knows she’s being difficult and doesn’t care.

“Lucy,” her father’s tone was patient and gentle and can bring the meanest man down to his knees. “He doesn’t have many friends either, just give him a chance.”

“He’s not here to be my friend,” she muttered darkly. She was self-aware enough to know she was feeling threatened. At his look, she threw her hand up, “Fine, I’ll talk to him.”

~*~

_He’s not really your father._

Tony knows how to push buttons and Lucy was waiting for the right excuse. She had landed the satisfying first punch and from there it was a free for all. There were a lot of voices and yelling and then hands were grabbing at them to pull them apart. They were both out of breath, arms and legs still twitching from the adrenaline. Tony glared at her through his good eye. Any satisfaction she felt was overshadowed when Edwin led Tony away to have his wounds tended to, a look of utmost disappointment cast her way. It was probably worse than the dressing down she received from her Ana later on when she was assured Lucy was not badly injured, save some bruises and grazes.

“You know better than this. What possessed you to do this?!”

In an uncharacteristic switch, Ana was pacing the room while Edwin sat quietly in his armchair, looking anywhere but at Lucy. This is it. She had ruined it all. She bit her lips, refusing to answer to her fears, one which had been gnawing at her since she knew of Tony’s arrival and had burrowed into her to create a distorted nest of… whatever this is.

Ana was waiting for an answer she couldn’t give. She stumbled to her feet, ready to make her retreat. She never made it to the door. Edwin had enveloped her in a hug and the cracks in her facade shattered as she sobbed into her father’s embrace.

“We love you no matter what, with whatever doubts you have. Nothing will change that.”

And just like that, the weight fell off her shoulder and her chest felt lighter.

~*~

No apologies were made in the aftermath of the brawl. Lucy and Tony’s interactions were stiff and stilted, tripping over the elephant in the room. If there was anything they could agree on, it was that whatever grievance they have should not cause the Jarvis’ any distress. It was an awkward calm that was broken by the arrival of Howard and Maria Stark.

Tony’s demeanour changed with the arrival of his parents, taking on a more rigid exterior, his flippant attitude dialled up by ten. Lucy got a first-hand look into one of America’s most famous households… and she felt relieved and guilty. Howard ignored her which was fine by her (even if it did smart a bit); Maria at least nodded at her in acknowledgement.

~*~

To say she eavesdropped on their discussion is completely redundant when the entire neighbourhood could have heard the commotion. Needless to say, Howard and Tony Stark do not get along.

Lucy deliberated her next move before she followed Tony’s footsteps, taking a detour on the way. She found him behind the barn, feet knocking a steady rhythm into the barrel he was sitting on, eyes rimmed red and staring off into the abyss,

When she handed him the rifle wordlessly, her own slung across her back, his eyebrows rose to his hairline. “Is this a stand-off?”

“Don’t be dramatic.”

“Given our recent encounter, can you blame me?”

“If you’re going to be difficult, I’ve got better things to do.”

She didn’t have to wait long as he eagerly hopped off and followed her to the outer fields where cans lined the fence. She showed him the basics before taking a few shots herself, showing off just a little. Tony had a few misfires but picked it up soon enough, pinging a few in quick succession before giving an exhilarated whoop and casting her with a genuine grin.

And if that was the end goal, then Lucy had done her bit. She can walk away knowing that she did a good thing and ignore the warmth in her chest.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s nothing, don’t let it get to your head,”

She brought out more bottles and cans and they took turns in shooting them down.

“I didn’t mean what I said the other day,” Tony spoke up.

“Yes, you did.”

A pause. “Yeah, I did, but not like that.”

Deep down, Lucy knew that. “Might help if you weren’t so mouthy, kid.”

“I’m only two years younger than you,”

“A kid and a brat then,” a beer bottle flew backwards, “But neither should be treated the way you were,”

Tony was suddenly fascinated with the trees on the eastern side, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s why we’re here, and why I’m probably going to have my head handed to me if we get found.”

“The Jarvis’... your parents, they’re cool,”

Lucy took a moment to appreciate the olive branch Tony is offering - an acknowledgement and an apology.

“They are. You’re welcome to borrow them once in a while but you gotta return them at the end of the day,”

A smile. “Deal.”

~*~

From there on in, Lucy would occasionally tag along with Edwin to the city when Howard wasn’t around. She helped scare off Tony’s nanny in a brilliant rendition of ‘The Ring’, taking Tony’s technology to an all-time high. The absence of a nanny meant more frequent visits from Tony when his parents were absent, and they would spend the time watching Doctor Who and working around the ranch. Tony would tinker with the machinery around the house, fixing most and improving others, and in one case almost setting the stable on fire. The ruckus caused a stampede of panicking horses. The dress-down they received was nothing short of spectacular.

Tony was chagrined while Lucy was more annoyed that she was getting yelled at when she was hardly involved. Tech was hardly her thing and she barely understood any of Tony’s ramblings half the time.

“You need to watch out for one another. You,” Ana indicated Lucy, “have a duty of care. And Tony, you need to have her back.”

They blinked at one another, perplexed, but it was one of their first lessons in their odd sibling dynamic.

~*~

There were days when the memories of her mother’s failing health and her ultimate demise plagued her. If someone was willing to help those who were deprived of it… maybe her mother could have been saved. The worst part is that it wasn’t just them, no, they were part of a much bigger problem.

So when the time came for her to apply for college, she chose medicine and got accepted into Tufts University School of Medicine.

~*~

If Lucy had hoped that Tony and his father’s relationship would improve once he got into MIT, she was sadly mistaken. Distance does not always make the heart grow fonder. Tony started socially drinking despite her protests. So they came to a compromise, minimal drinking on his part and she will pick him up afterwards. This resulted in many late nights where Lucy would show up in her pyjamas, her mind filled with words and body parts, Tony snoring loudly in her ear, the smell of alcohol filling her car.

James Rhodes' presence invited some respite, an extra pair of eyes to subtly navigate Tony’s drinking habits (more often than not, Rhodey gets roped into it too. Lucy wished Tony would put his charisma to better use). He never asked who she was to Tony despite the questions in his eyes and that more than anything made Lucy trust him enough to tell him. That and the fact they were in the midst of rescuing Tony from a kidnapping. Rhodey’s response of “There’s two of you?!” reassured her of her decision.

Notwithstanding the drinking and the occasional kidnapping, Tony excelled in academia and proved his ingenuity more than once. However, it never seems to be enough for Howard, who Lucy would dearly love to punch. She knew Tony well enough to sense something was not quite right after he won the MIT robot design competition, despite putting up every appearance of being on the contrary. They celebrated then went their separate ways.

When the phone call came, it was Rhodey.

Tony was barely conscious when she got to his room, trying to get an answer out of him through his alcohol stained speech. That’s when she spotted the bottle of Ambien.

He seized.

The trip to the hospital was a blur of panic and swearing, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. By the time he was given the all-clear, she was shaking with adrenaline withdrawal and exhaustion. He was sleeping, blissfully unaware of the mechanical whirs and beeps around him.

Feeling confined, she ducked into the corridor, just as Howard was making his way towards the room, his steps short and clipped.

Lucy shut the door behind her and stepped up to meet him, arms crossed, a human sentinel before a human wrecking ball. He barely glanced at her as he made to brush pass her; she moved to block him again.

He finally acknowledged her presence, annoyed. “Get out of my way.”

“You’re the last person he needs right now. Although it’s good to see there are some things you are willing to show up for.”

“I don’t know who the hell you think you are but I would advise you to consider your words wisely.”

“You know precisely who I am but that hardly matters, because the person that matters here is Tony, your son. Not a side hobby or project you look in when you have nothing going on.”

“How dare you -”

“I dare because no one else seems willing to. Because you’re Howard Stark and you’re ruining one of the best things of your life. Tony is brilliant and looks up to you but you can’t seem to look beyond your own God damn nose to give him the time of day and you will live to regret it one day.”

“I am paving the future for him so that he won’t have regrets to live with.”

“You have a funny way of showing it - you’re so focussed on the what-ifs that you’re missing the right now, Your son needs you in the here and now. Your constant belittling of his every achievement or success is not going to end well for you.”

“He needs to learn humility and you need to learn your place.”

“Sir, with all offence intended - you need to get off your hypocritic high horse and start taking responsibility for your own actions because for all that you have done in the world, regret is going to be one of your biggest problems.”

Howard’s face has begun to take on a remarkable shade of red, vein visibly throbbing at his temple. He lifted his hand as if to strike her when Edwin’s voice broke through the moment, “Sir, I would advise against laying a finger on my daughter’s head. I can assure you the consequence would not be kind.”

Edwin’s usually polite tone was lined with steel, calm in a way that did not match the storm in his eyes.

Howard seems to come to himself and stepped back, “Jarvis, I -”

“Lucy, please wait for me in the waiting room.”

Lucy did not argue.

When Edwin joined her later, she braced herself for a lecture but instead, he wrapped her in a solid embrace. She wasn’t sure whether to apologise or not.

“I was going to have a word to him but it looks like you beat me to it,” he gave her a wane smile and Lucy saw the years on his face, lines worn into his skin. “As proud as I am of you, let's refrain from any more of these encounters in future shall we?”

Lucy gave a watery laugh as she agreed.

~*~

The sadness she felt for Howard and Maria Stark’s death was sadness for her parents who had considered them close friends and for Tony, who despite the strenuous relationship he had with his father, would have cared to some degree, especially with Maria. She mourned for the woman who rescued her when she had every reason not to. For that, Lucy would be forever grateful to her.

She remembered the ache following her own mother’s death, and the loneliness - if there was something she could pass on, she would insist that no one should be alone during this time. So she snuck into Tony’s room and offered whatever little support she could.

~*~

Lucy refused to cry when Ana and Edwin passed away within months of each other. They were happy and at peace together and “lived a life better than ever imagined”. Lucy knew it was selfish to feel abandoned, but there she was a five-year-old child again, feeling the earth tremble under her feet.

She reached out to Tony and found only an empty shell and the hole in her chest grew wider.

~*~

She found herself in Cambodia, where she explored and threw herself into the outreach medical work. It was gruelling work, especially as Cambodia has just endured the genocidal rule of the Khmer Rouge, where millions were killed. Hospitals had been levelled; medical supplies were virtually nonexistent. The public health fallout from years of devastation included tens of thousands of children and adults maimed by the landmines and unexploded bombs that remain hidden in the countryside, rampant PTSD, and a childhood malnutrition rate of 40 per cent. Diseases that can be easily treated back home causes deaths in the thousands. It was an eye-opening experience that widened Lucy’s world and prompted her to return home to complete her residency.

Going back home forced her to face her own problems, so trivial compared to what she had witnessed. Tony had taken up Howard’s mantle with ease if the media was anything to go by. Her proudness was dimmed by the hurt and the conflict of what Stark Industries does. Presents flooded her mailbox and though she knew it was Tony’s way of apologising, she cannot shake off the betrayal of what was left of her support and the world she once knew.

“I’m not trying to be difficult, Rhodey, I’m just not ready to talk to him.”

“It has been a year,”

“You’re one to talk,”

Lucy and James Rhodes had ducked out of the hospital for a quick respite, trying to absorb the warmth of the coffee in hand. Residency was kicking her ass and she was sure it was reflected in the way she looked. On the other hand, Rhodey was all decked out in his Air Force uniform, looking every bit the lieutenant colonel he is.

“You’re his family,” Rhodey pointed out.

“So are you.”

Rhodey sighed, resigned, “I’m just worried about you,”

“Well don’t. I’m fine.”

“You disappeared. For a year.”

“I went travelling and I sent you a postcard. Listen,” she grabbed his hand to stop him from lecturing, “I’m not going to deny that it still hurts and I wished things turned out differently. He’s still my brother and I still love him, but I just can’t right now…”

He squeezed her hand in response, “Okay, I’ll let it be for now.”

~*~

The reprieve lasted a month before Rhodey had enough and essentially bought Tony and Lucy back together. She may have started on this path alone, but that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.

The Jarvis’ (and maybe her mother) would have been proud.


End file.
